50 reasons why I hate myself

1. I’m fat.
2. I’m a rubbish mother.
3. I don’t help with homework.
4. My house is a mess.
5. I’m covered in scars.
6. Every day, I feel like killing myself.
7. I don’t pray enough.
8. I don’t read my Bible enough.
9. I hate playing with my children.
10. I need time alone and get ratty if I don’t get it.
11. I’m lazy.
12. I’m needy and burdensome.
13. I take take take all the time and never give.
14. I’m impatient.
15. I say I trust in God but I don’t feel him with me.
16. I’m hopeless at praying and reading the Bible with the children.
17. I don’t call my mum enough.
18. I have no contact with my father but take his money.
19. I waste money on stuff I don’t need.
20. I sin and sin and sin and sin.
21. I’m ugly.
22. I have no real friends.
23. People dread seeing me.
24. I don’t like having sex.
25. I’m scared of Australia.
26. I don’t iron.
27. I leave my clothes pegs on the line overnight.
28. I get so tired.
29. I’m a rubbish driver.
30. I nag.
31. I hate being touched because it might lead to sex.
32. I stay up late when Ian wants to sleep, and go to bed early when he wants me to stay up.
33. I keep praying for God to take my life.
34. I keep fantasising about jumping off that motorway bridge.
35. I’m a terrible friend.
36. I’m self-obsessed.
37. I want to self-harm so much.
38. I can’t go into the chemist without wanting to buy enough tablets to wipe myself out.
39. My kids are known to social services because of me.
40. I drink too much because it numbs the feelings.
41. I don’t feel that God cares.
42. I don’t think he listens to me.
43. I’m married to a non-Christian and that means I’m not a proper Christian.
44. I want to go to sleep and never wake up.
45. I want to die.
46. I want to die.
47. I want to die.
48. I want to die.
49. I don’t know how to do it but
50. I want to die.